Wednesday, January 30, 2008
My, What Red Cheeks You Have
Scene: Sitting at my desk at work
Characters: Me & Warehouse Boy & Fun Supplier Man (one of the people I talk to multiple times a day on the phone to order equipment for installations)
Angie is on hold on the phone, waiting for Fun Supplier Man to pick up. Warehouse Boy is standing at her desk and chitchatting with her. He then finds a very used Jack (In The Box) antenna ball behind her computer monitor that he had previously given her (don't ask).
Warehouse Boy: What's this doing here?
Angie: Oh, it's been there for a long time. I had forgotten it was back there.
Angie crinkles her nose at the sight of this disgustingly dirty ball. Warehouse Boy sets it on the counter to stare its beady little eyes at her. Angie, still on hold, attempts to gingerly grab it by the nose to toss it in the trash. It rolls away lopsidedly. She tries again.
Angie (saying low under her breath with disgust in her voice): I don't even want to touch it!
Warehouse Boy chuckles
Fun Supplier Man (having suddenly come on the line the exact moment Angie started talking and having heard the following male chuckle): Whoa! What's that? What don't you want to touch and who's is it?
Cue Angie's blush.
Angie (laughing and stuttering all at once): Um... wow, that was bad timing... I'm turning bright red right now.
Angie becomes so flustered that she doesn't even think to explain what's going on to Fun Supplier Man and instead just gives him her equipment order. Her blush fades and she laughs to herself. Yet more proof that her timing in life is comedic and cringe-worthy all at the same time.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Please Tell Me This Isn't My Journal
Sept. 13, 1995 Phases
I have had many phases in my life. For example, I have collected everything from beads to buttons, to stickers. I sort of fell away from sticker collecting, but at a peak time, (my sister and I collected together) we had over 1,100 stickers. (We really were going for that 1000 sticker mark and were SUPER excited when we got there). Right now I am on my business card collection. (Are you joking me? At 13 I collected business cards? That is seriously uncool. I thought my dork days ended in 7th grade, but I was sooooo wrong.) Whenever I go to the fair or to a store, I pick up their business cards. I started this a few years ago, when I lived in Michigan. I stopped collecting them when my mom threatened to put them in recycle. My dad let me keep them, though. (Dad let me keep them? Normally he's all for getting rid of stuff. Was I really that attached to them that he felt like he had to intercede for my mental health?) I put them away in my desk safe, (I had a flippin' sweet desk with a safe in it) and didn't find them again until we moved into my new house in May. Since then, I have collected over 100 new business cards. (From May to September I got 100 business cards? Either I was going to a lot of fairs or I got real friendly with the Safeway checkers) I've had many phases, but business card collecting is my newest one.
Sept 22, 1995 Momentos
I have many momentos of places I've been or other people have been. For instance, when my dad went to New Orleans for the first time, he brought me back a thermometer in a glass container filled with water and seashells floating in the water. (I had it on my desk until I moved away to college). The second time he went, he brought back a tshirt of the New Orleans jazz band. (I still have that shirt and wear it to bed. It's so worn that you can barely see any of the printing on it) In other places he's been, he's brought back different things. When I go places, I collect everything from business cards (there they are again) to bags to small items such as keychains or pencils. This helps me remember places I've been in a cheap, inexpensive way. (More from "Remembering On A Dime" after a word from our sponsors...) In order to give them up, someone would probably have to pay a big sum. A lot of my collection brings back good memories. I wouldn't give it up for less than $100. (Apparently I can be bought-- and for really not all that much)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
And then the cops showed up...
Dead silence.
Not being able to move to see, I asked sing-songingly, "who is it? who is it?".
"Police," said a deep male voice.
At that point my heart stopped and I struggled with all my might against the yarn holding me hostage. I managed to bend forward enough to crane my neck around and look at the cop staring at me. (I don't know why he would be staring at someone entirely covered with yarn. I mean really, they must see that all the time.)
He continued, "We have had a report of domestic violence at this address. Someone was yelling, 'get off of me'."
"I'm sorry officer, we are a youth group playing a game. What was heard was someone being tickled." At that point I went on to apologize profusely to him for having to come out, while trying to maintain some dignity as I talked from an entirely awkward position.
The officer standing behind him piped up, "are you sure this is a church thing?" Good natured chuckles ensued.
I thanked them for doing their duty and we said our goodbyes. I immediately wanted to go to the neighbor to apologize but was still trapped. I had to sit there for another 20 minutes until all of the yarn around me was untangled. I put together a plate of Oreo Truffles and brought them downstairs where both my neighbor and I swapped embarrassed sorrys. I gave her the peace offering and turned to find Jess coming home from a meeting, standing at the base of our stairs with her jaw by her knees, obviously having overheard my exchange with the neighbor. I could barely walk over to her for the bout of giggles I had and got to explain to her my very first domestic disturbance call. Oh, the fun I have with my youth group!
Monday, January 14, 2008
It Looks Like A Crime Scene
About an hour ago I was turning from the stove to the sink with a pot of pasta to drain when I suddenly felt a piercing pain in my toe. I yelped and spilled half the water on the floor but managed to flood the rest into the strainer waiting in the sink. I yanked off my sock and found a long piece of glass sticking out my toe. How there was glass just laying on our floor is a mystery to me. I yanked it out and immediately was greeted with gushes of blood. As in it started dripping onto the throw rug underneath me. I quickly used my discarded sock to staunch the flow, but had to somehow make it to the bathroom for bandaids. I managed to do a hop/hobble combination with the sock firmly in place, but it proved to be no match for the river flowing from my wound. A blood trail followed me all the way to my destination and as I sat on the floor, rifling through our cabinets for something, please God something, to stop the steady stream, a pool formed under my foot. I found some hydrogen peroxide (thank you Jesus) and used it to avoid a nasty infection, but I was still coming up empty with a big enough band aid. Why, oh why, did I not get the giant ones I was contemplating in Rite Aid just last week (no joke)? I frantically searched Jess' drawers to no avail when I was struck with a very Girl-Scout-in-a-crisis-mode solution-- feminine products! I grabbed one, tore off the back, and wrapped it around my toe with a big sigh of relief. Praise God for being female!
I kept my bloody sock for Jess to see since she was not with me in my moment of need and thought that I could give you all a picture (literally) of what I went through tonight...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The Giant and the Midget Sideshow
Puzzled
So now I officially love puzzles. I'm thinking this is part of the newest love/hate phase for me. What exactly is a love/hate phase you ask? Well, it's when I discover that I love things I've always hated or hate things I've always loved. For some reason I always find a bunch of them all at once. For example, freshman year of college brought on the love of peppers, which I had always previously hated. Currently I'm discovering the love of puzzles while being saddened by the dislike of Chicken Teriyaki. I've always loved teriyaki but I just can't stomach it now days and I've always hated puzzles but now am yearning to get my hands on those little pieces. Sometimes I have to just shake my head at myself.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
And the Winners Are...
We have heard from multiple people that you didn't even want to try after reading Lucy's answers. Because one brave soul was good enough to attempt, we have decided to crown not one, but 2 winners this year! Both Lucy & Maudie (Connie) will receive the fabulous prize of... (we're still trying to think of one, but we'll let you know when we do). Good job to our winners! The correct answers are below:
1. What do both Angie & Jessica cuddle up with in bed at night?
Blankets- Jess from when she was a baby, and Ang from early childhood. Both are getting threadbare. And yes, we're not afraid to admit we sleep with blankets. It's perfectly normal and healthy for a 25 year old to have one.
2. Where are you most likely to find them on a Friday night?
Two choices here: Acting like an old married couple who have run out of things to say so they sit across from each other in a restaurant reading the newspaper OR Sitting at home with takeout watching something from Netflix.
3. How many countries have they each been to? Bonus: name them
Jess: Canada, Slovakia, Poland, Austria, Czech Republic, Ukraine, England, France
Ang: Canada (I feel like that's a big duh), Austria, Germany (I could name places with layovers but that feels like cheating)
4. What are their individual meals of choice?
Jess: Eggplant Parmesan, Ang: the ultimate comfort food of rice, egg, onion, and corn... basically I only make it for myself because no one else appreciates it the way I do
5. What is the name of Angie's "boyfriend" that grew to full size in only 3 days?
Hans. A good burly boyfriend name.
6. What character did each of them dress up as at the Storybook Tea Party?
Jess: Ferdinand the BullAng: CinderEdna (Cinderella's practical counterpart)
1T