It Looks Like A Crime Scene

Should a member of CSI decide to search our home for evidence of murder, they just might find some, in the form of cleaned up blood. That's right, we'd be no match for those fancy lights that can illuminate human fluids. Why, you might ask? Well let me tell you a story...

About an hour ago I was turning from the stove to the sink with a pot of pasta to drain when I suddenly felt a piercing pain in my toe. I yelped and spilled half the water on the floor but managed to flood the rest into the strainer waiting in the sink. I yanked off my sock and found a long piece of glass sticking out my toe. How there was glass just laying on our floor is a mystery to me. I yanked it out and immediately was greeted with gushes of blood. As in it started dripping onto the throw rug underneath me. I quickly used my discarded sock to staunch the flow, but had to somehow make it to the bathroom for bandaids. I managed to do a hop/hobble combination with the sock firmly in place, but it proved to be no match for the river flowing from my wound. A blood trail followed me all the way to my destination and as I sat on the floor, rifling through our cabinets for something, please God something, to stop the steady stream, a pool formed under my foot. I found some hydrogen peroxide (thank you Jesus) and used it to avoid a nasty infection, but I was still coming up empty with a big enough band aid. Why, oh why, did I not get the giant ones I was contemplating in Rite Aid just last week (no joke)? I frantically searched Jess' drawers to no avail when I was struck with a very Girl-Scout-in-a-crisis-mode solution-- feminine products! I grabbed one, tore off the back, and wrapped it around my toe with a big sigh of relief. Praise God for being female!

I kept my bloody sock for Jess to see since she was not with me in my moment of need and thought that I could give you all a picture (literally) of what I went through tonight...

The Giant and the Midget Sideshow

Ever have those pictures that are so horrible you can't believe that you ever could have possibly looked that awful? The ones that make you laugh so hard at yourself that you literally cry? The ones that after your roommates threatened to expose your ugliness to the world, you hide under the contact paper lining the kitchen cupboards because you know they would never think to look there (but at the same time it never occurs to you to just tear up the picture)? Or how about the ones that involve a slightly indecent use of someone else's property so you only show it to girls you know are going to be ok-- no, make that laugh themselves silly-- with your nice-girl-but-somewhat-naughty pose? Those of you who have known me a while might recall the said pictures and the hilarity that ensued while taking them and after developing them. The following picture isn't quite in the same league as the one of me practicing my knife throwing skills with Andy while camping or the rope attire shot (after all, it wouldn't be on here if it was), but it was laughable enough for me to share it safely with our loyal readers. This was taken around Christmas time and I promise you, we were at a weird angle. She was actually standing behind me a good couple of feet but from the picture it looks like she was right next to me... thus we have the giant and the midget. Oh, I do so love this shot.

Puzzled

What do hip 25-year-olds do with their spare time? Puzzles of course! I have always hated doing puzzles because my brain doesn't think that way, but for some reason, last weekend I absolutely HAD to do one. As in I went to Freddie's at 9:30pm to get one... I'm not really sure what compelled me, but it HAD to be done. I started it that night and was so engrossed with it that I stayed up until 2am fitting pieces together. Yeah, even I think that was a bit overboard. Jess and I finished it this past week and are quite proud of our accomplishment.


So now I officially love puzzles. I'm thinking this is part of the newest love/hate phase for me. What exactly is a love/hate phase you ask? Well, it's when I discover that I love things I've always hated or hate things I've always loved. For some reason I always find a bunch of them all at once. For example, freshman year of college brought on the love of peppers, which I had always previously hated. Currently I'm discovering the love of puzzles while being saddened by the dislike of Chicken Teriyaki. I've always loved teriyaki but I just can't stomach it now days and I've always hated puzzles but now am yearning to get my hands on those little pieces. Sometimes I have to just shake my head at myself.

And the Winners Are...

So we kinda forgot to post the winner of our trivia contest. No real good excuse. Just forgot. Guess we need to now, considering we're 8 days late...

We have heard from multiple people that you didn't even want to try after reading Lucy's answers. Because one brave soul was good enough to attempt, we have decided to crown not one, but 2 winners this year! Both Lucy & Maudie (Connie) will receive the fabulous prize of... (we're still trying to think of one, but we'll let you know when we do). Good job to our winners! The correct answers are below:

1. What do both Angie & Jessica cuddle up with in bed at night?

Blankets- Jess from when she was a baby, and Ang from early childhood. Both are getting threadbare. And yes, we're not afraid to admit we sleep with blankets. It's perfectly normal and healthy for a 25 year old to have one.

2. Where are you most likely to find them on a Friday night?

Two choices here: Acting like an old married couple who have run out of things to say so they sit across from each other in a restaurant reading the newspaper OR Sitting at home with takeout watching something from Netflix.

3. How many countries have they each been to? Bonus: name them

Jess: Canada, Slovakia, Poland, Austria, Czech Republic, Ukraine, England, France
Ang: Canada (I feel like that's a big duh), Austria, Germany (I could name places with layovers but that feels like cheating)

4. What are their individual meals of choice?

Jess: Eggplant Parmesan, Ang: the ultimate comfort food of rice, egg, onion, and corn... basically I only make it for myself because no one else appreciates it the way I do

5. What is the name of Angie's "boyfriend" that grew to full size in only 3 days?

Hans. A good burly boyfriend name.

6. What character did each of them dress up as at the Storybook Tea Party?

Jess: Ferdinand the Bull
Ang: CinderEdna (Cinderella's practical counterpart)

1T

Family Christmas Letter 2007

***Read to the end for a chance to win a fabulous prize!***

Dear Family & Friends,

If you are reading this, that means that you either got our Christmas letter or you are one of our faithful readers who jumped the gun a bit. Don’t worry, your card is coming soon (despite a snafu that you can read about here). This year we have left our life of spy drama and are now enjoying a more relaxed, less-themed world. Our real stuffed coyote, Henry, still guards us through every season and change of clothing we can stuff him into. We are still living in our gorgeous apartment and are continuing our pledge to be heterosexual life partners. Six years and counting! If you recall the Family Christmas Letter of ’02, you may remember that applications for future spouses were being accepted. Let’s just say that the positions have yet to be filled.

Jessica continues to teach K-5 Special Ed Resource at a local elementary school. When not trying to coax children out from under tables and sanitizing the said tables from booger smears, she spends her time bike riding in hopes of doing the upcoming STP (Seattle to Portland) bike ride with her sister Bekah. They hope to have the following mini license plates: NMBUNZ & TNDRCHX. Over the summer she used her time of to take the youth group from her parents’ church to Florida for the week long National Youth Gathering.

Angie is still working for a heating and cooling company and loves her job! She is also involved with her church’s youth group and absolutely adores hanging out with her group. Some of you have been following the journey of the non-profit that she is a board member of, and you will be happy to know that as of the beginning of this month, the café is up and running. Angie also loves to provide personal catering for her roommate and is helped with her endeavors by a new food processor & stand mixer. (Insert a big giant WOOHOO here for the full effect of her joy).

Thanks for caring and sharing in our lives. Below you will find a 5-minute slideshow of us this past year. You will also find a trivia game. Answer the questions in the comment section of this post and you could have the chance to win a prize from us! The answers don’t have to be correct, just creative. The person that has the best responses will receive an absolutely fabulous gift. The winner (and answers) will be announced on this blog sometime between Christmas and New Year’s.

Love,

Jess & Ang

Trivia Game (cheating is allowed, but make it funny)

1. What do both Angie & Jessica cuddle up with in bed at night?
2. Where are you most likely to find them on a Friday night?
3. How many countries have they each been to? Bonus: name them
4. What are their individual meals of choice?
5. What is the name of Angie's "boyfriend" that grew to full size in only 3 days?
6. What character did each of them dress up as at the Storybook Tea Party?

1.

Amen!

God has 4,235,843 friends on MySpace

Uh, We Lied...

Know how we just got done saying that we had the best Christmas Card idea ever? Well, we were wrong. It looked good online and sounded hilarious when we discussed it, but once we received it, we saw how completely awful the product was. Now that I have just mailed the box back and you won't be getting them, I'll just come out and tell you that they were.... whoopee cushions. That's right people, whoopee cushions! Tell me that's not a genuinely funny idea, especially with our message on it:

I personally was holding out to put "Merry Christm-ass" (please tell me you get that) as the greeting, but Jess vetoed the idea. Granted, I also think some of my relatives might have a coronary if they saw it, so I had to reluctantly agree. But you have to admit it was a brilliant play on words.

So why did we return them you ask? For several reasons, one of them being the size of the writing on the cushions:

Uh, yeah. We could barely read it too (and we have young eyes). We would have had to supply magnifying glasses with our cushions and that would have gotten even more pricey. However, they did come in a nice assortment of colors that were pleasing to look at.

Still, the bold and bright colors did nothing to add to the actual function of the cushions. In fact, not much would. At times when you sat on an inflated cushion, nothing would happen. It was just a hard nobbin of air underneath you. At other times, a gigantic rip-roaring blast would erupt that sounded absolutely un-human. Seriously, if someone emitted a sound such as the one produced by this cushion, I would be afraid that they had just torn apart their butt. Let me tell you... this was no "Bronx Cheer"...

Now we just have to figure out what to do instead. Sigh.